My guilt complex & speaking your mind at work

I have a guilt complex. It's a family trait. Something in my genes and I just can't fight it. It means I feel unnecessary guilty about things and say sorry far too often (frequently for no reason). So, now as I say sorry for not posting on here for so long (it's been over a month) and admit how guilty I feel for neglecting this blog, I know there's no need really for this meaningless confession. No-one's life has suffered because I failed to come on here to share my words of questionable wisdom about the world of work. But still I feel bad. So, sorry.

That now said, I feel I should qualify my absence with a reason (some would say an excuse). Well, I have been extremely busy. Yes, I know, the predictable response. But I really have. I've been writing internal comms announcements and award submissions for a corporate client, doing some PR and social media stuff for a charity and writing lots of articles (I can prove it - look at some of my published pieces).

Now I feel I can move on. Phew.

Yes, there is more to this post than my guilt trip. Today's debate is on whether you should challenge your superiors. Is it a sign of professional strength or an irritation that will secure you a position at the back of the promotion queue?

Based on my research for this feature for Edge Magazine, I would say when delivered wisely, a well backed up challenge is a good idea and a way to positively differentiate yourself from colleagues.  But it has to be done with confidence, conviction, tact and respect. And you have to be prepared to back down with dignity sometimes.

Here are a few tips I picked up:

Be confident in your expertise. Your boss promoted you because they believe you have a unique skill or capability. Your specialist knowledge is empowering and will enable you to make your voice heard and present a justified argument. 

Be subtle about it. Common courtesy and showing respect for seniority is crucial management behaviour. Never imply that you’re trying to influence a superior or manage their actions; they will immediately switch off.

Consider building a coalition. Sometimes it’s better not to act alone. Your voice on its own may not be heard but if you can gather an influential and united group of people to put forward a point of view it could be a more effective way to demonstrate your case.

Look for short term wins. Building the trust of senior colleagues takes time. If you’re struggling to get your voice heard, identify some short term wins and tackle those first. This is a way to demonstrate your capability and test your influencing style before taking on a more significant issue.

Find a mentor. Look out for people who are good at delivering challenges and ask them for their tricks. Most people are happy to share their skills if it’s something they’re good at.

So, off you go and bully your boss. Only kidding. I don't mean bully. I said that in jest. I probably should delete that comment; my guilt complex will go into overdrive if any of you take this literally and get the sack, find yourself at an employment tribunal for bullying behaviour, or in hospital when your boss lashes out at your below the belt challenge,  or maybe your family end up living on economy baked beans when you lose your job, ... I've got carried away so I'll stop there. Sorry.

Is it time to get back in touch with our feminine side?

The recession has changed our perspective. Planning for the long term has been overshadowed by the urgency of survival. The softly-softly approach to management that flourished during the blissful boom years, has been squashed under the pressure of the flailing economy. The workplace has become more brutal than ever. Yes, macho management is back. And we're all feeling the consequences.

In the absence of pay rises and generous bonuses, motivation is less about reward and more about fear. Yes, it's the stick that's been keeping us in the office late at night rather than a tasty carrot!

Although the recession has presented many new problems, apparently we’ve handled the management aspects of this by reverting back to a style of leadership that we hoped had been confined to the bad old days. 

Let’s look at a few facts:

• A recent research revealed 85 per cent of employees would rather seek help elsewhere than turn to their managers when they need guidance at work. This is down to three main factors; fear of looking incompetent, a reluctance to bother their busy boss and concerns that they will be unfairly judged based on their question.
• Workplace bullying is becoming more commonplace according to surveys, rising by a third in the last six months.
• British Gas workers voted in favour of strike action over claims of macho management at the company.

Macho management is supporting the rise of ‘corporate imprisonment’ – UK workers are more than ever feeling dispirited and trapped in unfulfilling positions that they would otherwise leave. And many companies fear mass staff walk-outs when confidence in the employment market returns.

So, I vote for the end of intimidation, authoritarianism and fear being used by leaders to hide their uncertainty about the current and future situation of their business. As we prepare for an upturn, is it time once again to embrace our softer side and bring a sense of compassion and humanity back into the workplace?

Go on, be a woman about it.